If I Lose Myself Tonight
by heroherondaletotheresuce
Summary: Williams 22nd Birthday Bash. Wessa One Shot. Disclaimer: All characters belong to Cassandra Clare, plot belongs to me. R


**One Shot** – Wessa

_Song – If I lose Myself Tonight – One Republic _

**Modern AU** –

Tessa crossed the road trying to avoid the rush of afternoon traffic. She had just finished her last arts lecture at the institute for the day. She slipped her green leather gloves on her hands and tugged the cream coat closer to her slim body, attempting to keep the cold out. Tessa continued to walk down the street passing by antique stores and quaint café's as she made her way to her small apartment. Tonight was Will's 22nd birthday and Jem was hosting a small party for him at their joined apartment.

Jem, Cecily and Tessa had been meeting up secretly over the last month to organise the party. Tessa had already purchased his present. It was a collection of Dickens books all wrapped up and ready to go. She had also decided to buy him a journal, a sort of diary he could use. She figured it would be good for him, since he's always so secretive he may as well write it all down in somewhere. Tessa was given the job of diversion. She was meant to keep William occupied at her place before the party started. They were having a surprise gathering at Jem's apartment. But William just thought that he and Tessa were spending the night in with a movie like they'd always… as friends. Tessa pushed that thought away. Tonight was meant to be in celebration of William's birthday, not moping over the fact that she's been in love with him since well, since forever.

Tessa made it to her apartment within a few minutes and walked inside the cold and empty home. She turned on the heating and took her coat off hanging it up in her closet. She sighed when she looked around and realised that her apartment was a complete mess. She tied her hair up in a messy bun and grabbed the nearest pair of sweatpants and a blue t-shirt lying on her comforter and popping them on. She picked up all of her dirty laundry and popped it in the washing machine and made her way into the kitchen to start cleaning her dishes when there was a knock at the door.

"Come in, the doors unlocked." She yelled as she packed the last dish in the dishwasher and turned it on.

In walked in William barely a second later. Smiling at her, he shrugged his coat of and left it hanging on the rack and took a seat on the stool, leaning his arms on the bench in front of the sink.

"Hi Tess." He said grinning, this was the first time he had seen her all day and he was looking forward to being smothered in presents on his birthday.

"Hello Will." She said equally as happy.

She wasn't sure if she should say happy birthday at this point or just play it dumb until she took him over to Jem's apartment. She decided the latter. It would be fun to see where this went she decided.

"How was your day?" she said pushing the stray hairs out of her face before turning around to grab two mugs from the top cabinet.

William didn't reply for a moment, she thought maybe because she didn't say anything about his birthday but it was just him starring at her trying to reach for the mugs on the top shelf. It's as though she did it on purpose to sidetrack him and he cursed himself for thinking of her like that but it was hard too, as she stretched her arm trying to grab the mugs, her t-shirt rode up revealing the pale skin of her hip, distracting him momentarily.

"Uh, yeah it was good, you know usual stuff. How about you? How is your book coming along?" William said, his cheeks flushing slightly at his previous thoughts as she turned around to face him.

She put the kettle on the stove, and placed some tea bags inside, waiting for the tea to brew. She looked over at the clock and saw that it was only 15 past 5 and Jem's party was scheduled to start at 7 which meant there was still another hour or two that she had to distract him. She realised that she should probably start with answering his question instead of staring at the clock.

"Oh sorry, um yes. I mean good. It's going good…yeah good." She said nodding her head, but it didn't seem like he was buying it, mostly because of the cheeky expression on his adorable face.

"Ok it's going horrible, I can't think of what I want my antagonist to look like and I'm stuck. I know what's going to happen in the beginning of the story and the end but the middle; the middle's just an absolute mess." She confessed, only to elect a chuckle out of him.

"Of course, it's going to be hard the first time round for everything. That's just the way life is love." He said charmingly before taking a sip of the English breakfast tea she passed his way just moments ago.

She playfully glared at him as her heart skipped a beat when he called her love. He does it all the time, and she wonders if he realises the effect he has on her. She couldn't help but think there was a double meaning within that response. "Care to watch some telly?" she suggested, pushing that comment aside, she walked over to the couch adjacent to the kitchen and sat down flipping through the channels, and soon William followed, plopping down on the soft leather next to her. She turned her head to look at him, his dark hair was curling more so than usual and a slight sign of stubble on his jaw. She gulped at the proximity of his body. She wasn't so sure that she could distract him for another hour before she went completely crazy. Usually she could keep herself in check but today it's like she's just gone up in flames. _Stop thinking about him like that._ She took a deep breath turning her head back to the TV screen only to see that they were old re-runs of Downton Abbey playing. Content in the silence she didn't realise the time fly by. She heard her mobile phone ring and jumped off the couch to go and answer it. It would probably be Jem's call to keep the plan in check and underway.

She held the phone to her ear, only to hear Cecily screaming in the background about there not being enough alcohol on the scene and that Magnus was ruining her apartment with all of the sparkles, Tessa scoffed inwardly before Jem came on.

"Hey Jem, how is everything?" she said nonchalantly hoping that William wouldn't think anything of it.

"Good I hope. Most of the stuff is set up; we should be ready to start the party on schedule. Are you ready yet?" he asked, his voice slightly breaking up on the line.

"Yeah sure I'll see you in an hour; I'll make sure to drag William along as well. Do you want us to bring any snacks over, maybe a movie or two?" Tessa said, whilst looking over at William on the couch who was now listening into the conversation. She smiled at him, whilst Jem muttered something in mandarin, clearly confused by Tessa's words.

"No snacks, what are you… oh William's listening in isn't he? Smart move with the snack comment. He's probably only listening in because he's jealous." Jem chuckled, now understanding.

"Yes, and No he isn't." She muttered into the line, blushing furiously and turning away from William so that he couldn't see. "I promise we will be there on time. Don't worry." She said before hanging up.

Turning back to William, he looked to her expectantly waiting for an explanation. She prayed that her blush wasn't evident and walked over to the couch.

"Jem called, he ended up finishing his shift at the hospital earlier and said we should come over for some drinks." She said, praying that he would buy it.

"But we were meant to stay in, watch a movie, just you and me remember, like old times… always and forever." He said, a slight pout covering his face. She sucked in a breath trying to keep her heart at bay; he really needed to stop saying things like that.

"We can have movie night tomorrow I promise." She said grabbing his hands, trying to pull him up, but he wouldn't move.

"But Tess." He whined, and when she didn't budge he pulled on her hands that were gripping his, and she fell down on top of him on the couch. Her face was inches away from his and her she couldn't breathe properly. His blue eyes were focused on hers, and slowly they moved in together, _by the angel _her heart rate picked up and she could feel her face flush. Moments away from their first kiss and her phone buzzed again in her pocket breaking them out of the trance. Awkwardly she moved to the side, sitting back down on the couch and answering the phone.

"Tessa, are you ready yet?" Cecily asked before continuing on. "You've got to be here in half an hour, so just wanted to let you know." She said before hanging up and not even waiting for a reply. She hung up the phone and placed it down on the couch before coughing awkwardly.

"Tess." He said her name so softly, as though the word itself was fragile. She tried to ignore this and stood up.

"Uh… I've got to go shower I'll be out in a few." She muttered before walking off to her bedroom. When she reached the bathroom, she shut the door, sliding down the back of it and reliving the moment that almost happened. Her heart was racing. Was he about to kiss her? Or was it an accident that happened? Shaking her head she stripped down and jumped in the shower, where the hot water pelted her pale skin and she scrubbed her body with lavender soap that she loved.

Popping out of the shower she grabbed the nearest towel and wrapped it around her body before stepping out of the steam and into her bedroom, looking for something to wear. The clanking noise of hangers annoyed her after a while. She had looked through her whole closet and had not found one thing that she liked enough. She decided to just stick to what Cecily had chosen out for her the day before, even though it was a little bit revealing. The sparkly scarlet dress wrapped just above her shoulders lightly, coming in tight from the bust down to the waist and flowing out just above her knees. There was a sash of golden lace along her waist line and it matched with the make-up she had quickly applied after her shower.

She grabbed her phone and didn't worry about a coat, after all Jem's apartment was just around the corner. As soon as she walked out of the bedroom she heard the intake of a breath, she looked up from where her eyes had been trailing the floor to see William steps away from her. He moved forward, taking a step closer before bringing his hand up to her hair and pulling out the clip that held her brown curls up, making them fall in place, swaying on her shoulders.

"It looks better down." He whispered before grabbing her hand and walking in tow with her towards Jem's place after locking up.

-Most of the guests had arrived already, hiding in place. All of the lights were turned off and they were trying to keep silent waiting for William's arrival and Jem prayed that everything turned out and that William actually enjoyed himself.

Eventually they arrived at the front door of the apartment, and William fished out the house key from his back pocket, pushing it into the lock and opening the door, and letting Tessa in first. As soon as William walked through the lights flew on and there were people jumping out of every corner, screaming and shouting happy birthday. The apartment was decorated in with banners, streamers and lots and lots of sparkles. Courtesy of Mr Bane. The French doors were also opened, leading out to an amazing party on the large balcony that came with their apartment. William stood there in shock for a moment before smiling at Tessa and joining in on all of the fun. The gang came over first to give their birthday wishes.

"Happy Birthday brother." Jem said, smiling like a proud parent before bringing William into a bone crushing hug, which he returned, muttering a thanks along with it.

Next was Cecily, who looked just adorable in her black maxi dress, saying happy birthday and giving him a big sloppy kiss on the cheek, making them all laugh. After the initial crowd of party goers giving their wishes and moving on out back to the balcony, Tessa walked up to William, tackling him into a giant hug. They stayed like that for a moment longer than friends would but they didn't care.

"My turn." Tessa whispered, building up her courage and planting a kiss on his cheek, and a little too close to his mouth. "Happy Birthday William." She said smiling at him cheekily before walking out onto the balcony to grab a drink and catch up with Cecily.

William just stood there frozen, he certainly didn't expect that. Jem walked up to him moments later, pacing a drink over to William, who took it with one hand and had the other with his fingertips touching the spot she kissed.

"Looks like someone's having a good night." Jem teased his friend, seeing the love struck look on his face.

"By the angel, I didn't expect that." William let out breathlessly.

"Well then William, don't just let her run away. Go after her." Jem said, taking a sip of his rum and coke, which he found to be quite an interesting combination.

William just nodded, before placing his drink on the table and heading out to find Tessa. This amused Jem because no one could ever make William speechless like she did.

William walked outside on the balcony, the bright neon coloured lights flying around everywhere, as bodies moved together dancing to the pounding music. Soon he spotted Tessa around the corner chatting with Cecily and Gabriel.

"Mind if I borrow Tess for a bit?" William asked, practically yelling over the loud music.

Cecily just nodded her head, before grabbing Gabriel by the shirt and pulling him onto the dance floor, leaving Tessa and William laughing at the scene. Tessa moved closer to William so that they could hear each other without screaming their heads off.

"How do you like the party so far? I know you wanted a chill night, but we figured you'd enjoy seeing everyone." Tessa asked, hoping he did enjoy it.

"I really was surprised didn't expect it at all. But I think I'm in love with it, thank you." He commented, watching everyone dance and have fun and she wondered if there was a double meaning in that comment. He'd been doing a lot of that today.

"I'm glad you liked it and I promise tomorrow night is movie night, you even get to pick." She chuckled, pushing a curl behind her ear.

"Hey come with me for a minute?" she asked, she figured she may as well give him his gift now, it was in Jem's room all wrapped up and ready to go.

"Sure." He said following her to Jem's room before shutting the door. They both plopped down on his bed, crossing their legs.

"Here. Present. Open." She said grinning as he pulled apart the golden trimmed wrapping paper, carefully but quickly, eager to see what was inside. Opening it up he found a collection of Dickens novels, all the collectables in a box-set. He smiled, looking up before moving onto the next. A diary. It was a brown leather bound book.

"Thanks Tess, you know you didn't have to get me anything." He said looking over at her.

"No, of course, it's your birthday I had to get you something. Like the diary. You know because you are so secretive. So you can share your secrets with it." She giggled.

"Open it up." She said leaning back, against the wall, hoping he would like what was inside. Slowly he opened up the diary and two strips of paper fell out. Two first class train tickets to Wales, for next week. His eyes went wide and he was speechless yet again tonight.

"I just thought you might want to go visit your family. Back home." She said awkwardly, the courage from before seeping out of her as she was met with silence.

"Thank you Tess. It's perfect. You're perfect." He whispered softly, as a blush rose to her cheeks.

"Cecily won't be able to go, she's going to Paris with Gabriel tomorrow. Guess you'll have to come with me, meet my parents; after all it is tradition that my parents meet my girlfriend." He said coolly, awaiting her reaction.

Her head flew up at the word 'girlfriend'.

"What." Is all she said, staring at him. He chuckled before taking her hands in his.

"It was my crappy way of asking you. Will you be my girlfriend Tessa." He said this time clearer, his heart beating as fast as he presumed hers was as well.

"Yes." She laughed before hugging him as tight as possible.

"Best birthday ever." William laughed along with her before giving her a proper and overdue kiss.


End file.
